Peanuts In My Pocket

Late Sunday, I watched YouTube clips of President Trump allegedly cheating at golf while visiting Scotland. My first thought was, “That tracks.” I wasn’t surprised. I’ve always figured Trump for a cheat, based on the stories that have circulated for years. My second thought was, “Damn, I’d never play golf with that guy (again).”

President Trump made headlines while in Scotland when viral video footage showed a caddie apparently dropping a golf ball into a more favorable lie for him at his Turnberry course, just before he exited his golf buggy and played. — The Daily Beast

I’m no longer a golfer. I played in the ’80s and ’90s before discovering that disc golf was more my speed. The games are similar, yet completely different. The competitive mindset that permeates traditional golf doesn’t really exist in disc golf, unless you’re a professional or aspiring to be one. Most people just want to chill and enjoy the game. Cheating rarely happens, unless you run into one of those obsessive “foot fault” purists I occasionally encounter.

Like golf, disc golf is an inner game. After nearly 45 years of playing, I’m about as good as any casual player should be. In all that time, I’ve only encountered a handful of “Trumpish” disc golfers. These are the obvious cheaters; the ones who miscount their throws or take multiple second shots when their first lands out of bounds or smacks into a tree. They’re annoying as hell and a total buzzkill. I avoid them. When I come across someone like that, I usually walk off the course and start the round over. It’s disc golf. Nobody cares. Life’s too short to put up with cheaters.

I can’t imagine being stuck in a foursome with someone like Trump. Experiencing that level of dishonesty and lack of integrity firsthand would be too much. I’d have to call him out. But I wonder, does anyone really hold him accountable anymore? My guess is, within his inner circle, people don’t dare speak up. Not unless they want to become the subject of one of his unhinged midnight rants, or worse, find themselves mysteriously added to the Epstein list.

I’m getting old. Turning 64 came with a noticeable decline in my drive distance and a dip in the accuracy of what used to be the strongest part of my game: approach shots. My scores are showing signs of age too. What used to be a solid -6 on my favorite course is now more often a -2, or worse. Aging comes for us all. If I could give Trump any excuse, it’s that he seems utterly incapable of aging gracefully. How hard is it to just play for the love of the game and accept your decline with some dignity? For Trump, I imagine that’s impossible.

Trump lies in multiple ways, blatantly, like when he claims he never drew a picture; subtly, like when he says he’s only deporting criminals; and then through his actions, like cheating at golf. It’s all part of the same pattern. If there’s one thing you can count on, it’s that Trump and his administration will lie and cheat their way through each day. It’s exhausting. I honestly don’t know how to deal with it anymore. But this much I know: I’ll never play a round of disc golf with the man, and I’ll certainly never vote for him.