Peanuts In My Pocket

In late January of 2022, I had a severe case of COVID-19 that knocked me out for about 10 days. It was my first encounter with the virus, and it really took a toll on me. My wife came down with it too, so we shared in the misery. My memories of that experience are hazy, but not completely gone. I remember initially thinking it felt like a bad flu, until my brain stopped functioning properly and I genuinely thought I might die. It was a horrible experience.

Like much of the nation, we had become hyper-vigilant. We wore masks, avoided contact with others, used generous amounts of sanitizer, and cleaned everything. We stood in long lines for vaccines—or, in my case, navigated the system to get an early dose due to my risk factors. None of it prevented the inevitable.

Even after recovering, we remained cautious. Our “mild” infection was proof enough that those precautions mattered. I’d already lost a few friends during the chaotic early days of the pandemic. One died within hours of developing symptoms; he went from healthy and active to dead by nightfall. Several others followed a similar path.

You’d think those experiences would keep me vigilant. But over time, my guard dropped. A few habits stuck: I stopped shaking hands in favor of fist bumps, became less open to hugging, and stayed current with vaccinations. But I stopped wearing masks and gradually stopped using hand sanitizer. I went back to being the social, friendly guy I’d always been, and it cost me.

My symptoms began last Tuesday with mild congestion that developed into a sinus headache. I drove myself to an unrelated doctor’s appointment and told the staff that I thought I had a cold and had taken some meds. The appointment lasted nearly two hours. By the end, I knew I was sick. I drove home in a fog and told my wife I wasn’t feeling well. That night, the fever hit. I don’t remember much of the following days, but apparently, I infected my wife; she started feeling sick the next day.

COVID messes with your mind. I couldn’t connect the dots. I was deeply sick and delirious, and with my wife also down, we did our best to care for each other. When I’m sick, I sleep. When I was awake, I was hallucinating and miserable, so I slept as much as I could.

Two days later, my wife tested positive. I tested positive too.

It’s a beautiful Saturday afternoon as I write this. I’ve been living off soup, yogurt, and electrolytes. I want real food again. Today, I finally feel like the worst is behind me. My wife is feeling better too, and we plan to test again tomorrow.

Looking back, I’m fairly certain I was exposed at a family gathering last weekend, but it could’ve been anywhere. Being vaccinated and relatively healthy helped, but taking a few extra precautions might have prevented this entirely. I need to rethink how I engage with people moving forward. COVID is no joke.

We don’t hear much about COVID these days. With the current administration and our dysfunctional political climate, I doubt we’ll hear much unless something major happens. I fear that someone like RFK Jr. could jeopardize our vaccination programs. Until things change, it’s up to us to protect ourselves.

People often ask why I write so much. My answer is simple: beyond a lifelong compulsion, I write to remember. And while I’d love to forget these last few days, I want even more to remember them.